Amusing Readings

The funny thing about a blog, is that things have to be happening in your life to keep it interesting, but if interesting things are happening in your life all the time...you don't have any time to blog!!  Conundrum.

I started work this week and feel like I went from moving at the speed of molasses to the speed of light in about 24 hours.  Shock to the sytem, definitely, but it's going well so far.  I'll write more on that when the week is over!



Wanted to post these poems that Rusty and I have been amused with lately.  My good friend, Mary Olson, introduced me to this poet on my last visit to Flagstaff, and I just keep getting a kick out of the new poems of his I find and read.  Thought some others might enjoy it, especially those who have been married longer than I and can attest to the truth in the following lines:

"What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner or Later"

by Ogden Nash

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with.
And with whom they breakfast with and sup with.

They interfere with the discipline of nurseries,

And forget anniversaries,

And when they have been particularly remiss

They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss,

And when you tell them about something awful they have done they just

look unbearably patient and smile a superior smile,

And think, Oh she'll get over it after a while.
And they always drink cocktails faster than they can assimilate them,

And if you look in their direction they act as if they were martyrs and

you were trying to sacrifice, or immolate them,

And when it's a question of walking five miles to play golf they are very

energetic but if it's doing anything useful around the house they are

very lethargic,

And then they tell you that women are unreasonable and don't know

anything about logic,

And they never want to get up or go to bed at the same time as you do,

And when you perform some simple common or garden rite like putting

cold cream on your face or applying a touch of lipstick they seem to

think that you are up to some kind of black magic like a priestess of Voodoo.

And they are brave and calm and cool and collected about the ailments

of the person they have promised to honor and cherish,

But the minute they get a sniffle or a stomachache of their own, why

you'd think they were about to perish,

And when you are alone with them they ignore all the minor courtesies

and as for airs and graces, they uttlerly lack them,

But when there are a lot of people around they hand you so many chairs

and ashtrays and sandwiches and butter you with such bowings and

scrapings that you want to smack them.

Husbands are indeed an irritating form of life,

And yet through some quirk of Providence most of them are really very

deeply ensconced in the affection of their wife.

Don't know the title of this one but it's to the dudes:

What do you do when you've wedded a girl all legal and lawful,
and she goes around saying she looks awful?

When she makes deprecatory remarks about her format,

And claims her hair looks like a doormat?

W hen she swears her complexion of which you are so fond,

Looks like the bottom of a dried-up pond?

When she for whom your affection is not the least like Plato's,

Compares her waist to a badly tied sack of potatos?

Oh, who wouldn't want to be on a flimsy bridge with a hungry lion at one end,

a hungry tiger at the other end and a hungry crocodile underneath,

than confronted be their dearest

making remarks about her own appearance

through clenched teeth?

Why won't they believe that the reason they find themselves

the Mother of your children is because you think of all the looks in the world, their looks are the nicest?

Why must we continue to be ordealed and crisised?

I think it high time these hoity toity ladies were made to realize that

When they impugn their face and their ankles and their waist

They are thereby insultingly impugning their tasteful Husbands

Impeccable taste.

Lastly:

An Aside to Husbands

by Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.